F*****g iMovie


“Master Yoda, I need help.”


“Hmmm.  Curse of the Jedi Master, have you?”


“No, Master Yoda.  I have the curse of Steve Jobs.”


“Hmmm.  Wise one, he was.”


“Well his company isn’t so smart.”


“Apple, that is?”


“Yes, Master Yoda.  The company that has prided itself on user-friendly products that even a non-Jedi Master can use.”


“So your problem what is?”


“I wanted to take a video that was five minutes long and split it on my iPad into one-minute segments that I could upload to Instagram.  Apple makes this neat video editing package called iMovie that everyone raves about.  You can split video, you can rearrange segments, you can delete segments, you can add dancing can-can girls in the background for all I know but you can’t select a segment to save as a separate movie.”


“Much trouble you have. Perhaps a pint of the cold brain juice help would be?”


“I tried that, Master Yoda.  For five days I have been drinking myself to sleep at night, waking up with a hangover, ruining my liver, all because I couldn’t find out how to perform a very simple task.”


“Hmmmm.  Frustrated, you are?”


“Well, not any longer.  After reading through countless user forums and blog posts one guy - ONE GUY - mentioned that iMovie on iPad was incapable of this simple task.  The Apple help page didn’t say it couldn’t do it, the iMovie manual didn’t say you couldn’t do it.  Every YouTube video in the world didn’t say you couldn’t do it.  But I found out.  Yes, I tracked it down in the far reaches of the Alderon system - a renegade traveler named Zaphrox Beetlebrox provided me with the hint that I needed.  I can now save project segments as separate videos and upload to Instagram.”


“This Instagram, the Force it uses, hmmmm?”


“No, it’s what we call ‘Social Media’ on Earth.  It’s a way for grandparents to see their grandchildren, for people to post pictures and instructional videos.”


“Then your new knowledge shared will be on this…Instagram?”


“I doubt anyone cares.  Or is still reading, for that matter.”


“Hmmmm.  The Dark Side a message system like this uses.  Hmmmm.”


“Really?  What’s its name?”


“Hmmm.  ‘Truth Social’ called it is.


************

Instagram:  Dave.Chesney.353


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