Rant #49

 Ok, it's been a while since I had a good rant. You know, the kind that winds up with me pounding the table?  Yeah, that kind.  And of course it wouldn't be a good rant if it were anything of importance, right?

So here I am in the cockpit sipping a Shiraz with crackers and cheese,  minding my own business and enjoying the sunset. Then I look carefully at the label.  Mind you, this is a cheap Shiraz - not some tony fancy-dan wine with hints of rutabaga and garlic, untapped from the cask until 2:30 this afternoon.  No, this is your everyday, 'Look at all the cases we bought' kind you get at the Savusavu liquor store, such as it is.

Cockpit table take note:  Your days are numbered.

Now this everyday little offering has the temerity to suggest pairings.  Pairings! With f*****g what?  Oh, let's lowbrow this whole experience some more and suggest...pizza!  Yes, friends and neighbors, this swill from The Land Down Under (Where beer does flow and men chunder) actually thinks it should be drunk (drank?) with pizza!  Not to mention the hamburger icon, which is the next duly considered pairing.  "Uh, I'd like a quarter-pounder, large fries and, oh yeah - a glass of this swill Shiraz!

Hello?  You're a $7 US bottle of red wine that may or may not be an actual Shiraz, since I have no f*****g idea what a Shiraz is.  Why don't you try an honest label?  "If you're reading this you're not drunk enough!  We don't care what you 'pair' this with.  It can be ice cream, for all we care.  Enjoy the subtle hints of what ever the hell you think is in here.  And chunder.  Very important to chunder."




Actually, I think I'll buy another bottle. This stuff ain't half bad...

And anyone who gets the shout-out in the post heading - you get a bottle of Shiraz!  May be collected in Nakama Creek, Savusavu Fiji.  Terms and conditions may apply.

One last thing - my sky tonight.  I just thought it was neat.



Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 14, 2022 at 2:10 PM

    IMO, this label is refreshingly honest. It's clearly advising a sober shopper that it shouldn't be paired with good food.
    I assume the reference to numbered days for the cocktail table is due to the recent pounding?

    ReplyDelete

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