Alcohol apostate

 "Good evening, friends.  Welcome to our weekly AA meeting.  Alcohol Apostates welcomes all, forgives all, rejects none.  Are there any newcomers here tonight?"

Me (raising hand):  "Hello, my name is Dave."

All (in unison): "Hi Dave."

"Yeah, I...I...well it's hard to explain..."

"That's ok, Dave, we've all been there."

"Uh, ok.  Well it was like this.  I didn't know there was a Happy Hour* at the marina bar.  I only wanted a bag of ice to, you know, go back to the boat and make G&Ts.  So I paid for my single beer and didn't look at the change.  And...and before you know it, I was at the bulletin board where they announced that tonight was Happy Hour* with shorty Fiji Bitters on special.  $4 FJD.  That's less than $2 USD."

"Go on, son.  We know it's tough."

"And...and I didn't go back, even though Happy Hour*  had just started.  I...I feel so...ashamed..."  (Weeps uncontrollably)

"Ok, Dave.  We've all been through it.  You passed on a great price for your favorite beer in Fiji with good company at the bar and bands of wind and rain assaulting the roof and drop curtains.  A once in a lifetime chance to say 'I drank through a cyclone'.  We know, son, we know."

"But that's not the worst - they had trivia night right after Happy Hour*"

"You passed on trivia night in addition to Happy Hour*?  Seriously?"

"Yes, I'm afraid..."

"Booo!"

"Send him away!  We don't want his kind!'

"Burn him!"

"Drawing and quartering is too good for the bastard!"

"Leave now, Dave, while you can.  Don't come back.  You're not welcome here."

*(no copyright, no patent applied for)

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