How to detect a dumb American tourist

 So when we last left our intrepid voyagers, Dave and Nick were sitting in Rachaels Restaurant in Labasa plotting where to eat lunch.  We had been told that there was a great place to eat that overlooked Savusavu Bay, the Lookout Cafe.  I was I checked on the web (the source of all knowledge) to find out if it was open.  The last thing we wanted to do was step off the bus to find a closed restaurant and us with no way to continue to Savusavu.  It's about 11 km outside Savusavu.

And yes!  It is open.  Having heard such great things about it I decided to seek out the menu.  Holy wah, Batman - they have crocodile kebab!  And reasonably priced.  Now I've drank the banana beer in Tanzania, had the fried scorpion in Beijing, I was up for crocodile kebab!  Nick correctly pointed out that there are no crocodiles in Fiji, to which I replied they must be salties from Northern Australia.  I was not to be deterred - we were going to the Lookout Cafe for crocodile.





So back on the bus.  I'm salivating with every turn.  I'm ready for some croc, man.  How great is it that there is a high-end restaurant in Savusavu, Fiji where you can get exotic fare like this?  What a world!

We finally get to the Lookout Cafe.  It's not very big.  Two tables.  This place takes reservations?  This place has crocodile kebabs?  I barge in and ask the smiling girl behind the counter if they had any crocodile kebabs left.  She gives me this blank look and replies 'We don't have any crocodile..."  I express my disappointment and then inquire about the Lookout Burger (also on the menu).  "We don't have any burgers..."  I said, wait a minute, I saw them on your online menu.  "We don't have an online menu.  The only menu we have is there," and she points to the chalk board behind her.  I stare at the chalk board.  No crocodile listed.  No burgers, either.  "Did you have crocodile yesterday?" I asked.  "There are no crocodiles in Fiji," she replies.  By now the cook is out and they start to jabber in Fijian.  "I'm confused," I said, to no one's surprise.  I pull out my phone and pull up the menu I had read.  I flip back to the Home Page.  The counter girl looks at it and says "This is the Lookout Cafe in Victoria Falls.  That's in Africa."

There is just no coming back from this.  The girls are laughing, Nick is laughing, I'm laughing.  What the hell else can I do?  I ordered the chili beef and an iced coffee.

Except...the next guy that comes in is dallying at the counter trying to decide.  I lean back and say "Try the crocodile kebabs - they're great."  The girls crack up; the guy looks confused and leaves.

The view was worth it, however.




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